Seba at the Spot: A Ballad of the Union Faithful
By Doug Dryer
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Union’s number nine that day; The score stood one to nil, with but thirty-six plus stoppage left to play.
And then when Seattle’s Marshall took down Moreno it was evident who was to blame,
A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of this game.
A straggling few got up to growl in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope that their friend would feel better after fighting back those bears;
They thought, “If only Seba could but get a goal against these pricks-
We’d put up even money now, especially after his last match where he had a hat-trick”
But the ref pointed to the spot, as the Union faithful cheered,
And the former were invigorated, while the latter was considered a dear;
So upon that stricken multitude a quiet melancholy set;
For up walked Le Toux with much chance of striking the back of the net.
The Frenchman placed an upper-right corner shot to the wonderment of all,
And Keller, the much despised, dove left and missed the ball.
And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had occurred,
There was Seba shaking his fist in glory while Keller’s vision seems blurred.
Then from the 18,755 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumpled through the Commodore Barry, it rattled along the Del;
It pounded on the Chester waterfront and recoiled upon the PPL pitch,
For Seba, mighty Seba, scored and helped the Union in a stitch.
He went on to help set up one more and another he did create;
There was pride now in the crowd and finally Phila found their own soccer-specific soul-mate.
And when responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his imaginary beret,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Le Toux, here to stay.
With five thousand five hundred eighty minutes played in sixty two games,
Twenty-five goals with twenty assists- he left most goalies with shame.
One hundred and seventy-one shots and only seventy-eight on frame,
Eight goals from penalty kicks and four multi-goal games.
And now as the leather-covered sphere will once again come hurtling through the PPL air this year,
We wait for the next hat-tricker to grace our presence with hopes that he too will not disappear.
Far away Wanderers stroll the streets of Bolton-
“I’ve seen him play and he’s worth it, they say – his shot is full of fiery molten”
Le Toux now has his feet full of with Klasnić, Davies and N’Gog,
Owen Coyle is his new skip who will attempt to lead his men through the thick Horwich Fog.
Bolton’s home colors are white shirts with navy shorts and white socks;
I sure hope that Seba keeps Nike as a sponsor and doesn’t end up in a pair of purple Reeboks.
His new rivals the Blackburn Rovers and the mighty United in red
Will have to make up for the images of snakes strangling pink cows that dance in Seba’s head.
As Le Toux signaled via Twitter that he was off to England on a jet plane,
It left us all here mighty worried that his stay here was all in vain.
And then suddenly we realized that no one person was to blame,
The Union exist inside all of us and that knowledge is bigger than the game.
Our faces grew stern and cold, our muscles are now all strained,
And we won’t let another cup playoff slip through our fingers again.
Some will continue to sneer, their teeth will clench in hate;
Others will realize that this sport is a business and that maybe this is just fate.
Maybe something good will happen, maybe something great,
I guess we will have to wait for a while until our Generation Adidas players graduate.
Oh, I’ll miss Seba, even his nifty little goal scoring dance;
I’d surely like to tell my kids I met an EPL legend in advance.
And somewhere fans are cheering while others are left to doubt Bolton should know they have secured a gem. Look for him to score his next time out!